1994 Nikiski, Alaska
Every single evening about an hour after dinner my husband, Rufus, would go to the kitchen, retrieve a small mixing bowl from the cabinet, fill said bowl with ice cream, a sliced banana, and Oreo cookies. He would then return to his recliner in the living room and eat the entire contents of that bowl while watching the news or sports on TV. On occasion he would allow one of my Maine Coon cats, Tessa, the privilege of licking the bowl clean. Rufus was a dog lover; I was a devoted feline aficionado. Until recently I never cared much for the canine family; he had never had a cat before we married and somehow felt they were inferior to his dogs. One day he complained to me that my cats ignored him. I responded, “And how much time have you invested in them?” His reply was a simple but audible groan. Tessa, a beautiful calico Maine Coon, for some reason took a liking to Rufus. Every evening she would sit on the back of his recliner and clean his hair. (Yes, I agree, yuck was my opinion of that arrangement too!) And so Tessa unofficially became “his” cat.
Now as far as the Oreos go, my husband was obsessed with the chocolatey wafers and the white creme sandwiched in between. I am not sure if a single day of our married life went by without him eating Oreos. If it did I am quite sure there must have been some sort of withdrawal symptoms. We sometimes had “that” conversation. How do you eat an Oreo cookie? He in good caveman style just chomped down the whole cookie. I on the other hand had a somewhat more dainty process. I separated the wafers (of course the creme filling usually sticks to only one wafer) and ate the naked wafer first and then lastly the decadent creme covered wafer which then seemed all the more decadent with the totality of the creme to itself. Some have the habit of nibbling the cremeless edges of that second wafer before devouring the remaining cookie so creating a much higher creme to wafer ratio for that last bite of bliss. I find that process somewhat tedious.
Well, back to my story. One day Rufus came to the conclusion that his precious cookie sandwiches were disappearing. That is not unthinkable in a house that was usually buzzing with people. So he took speedy action and found a secret hiding place for his treasured stash. Now I am not judging here; I have on occasion been known to hide an especially delectable morsel or two. But he became obsessed with his Oreos and we all rolled our eyes, all the while believing him to be deluded.
Then began the interrogation period. (At this point in my story you need to imagine The Pink Panther Theme song.) Rufus would head to the kitchen in the evening as was his usual pattern. And then quite quickly he would storm through the house questioning every human he encountered—his wife, his children, his foster children, probably even a guest or two were on his list of suspects; in other words if you were human, ate food, and were in the house you were at the top of his list of potential cookie snatchers. I suppose he never interrogated the cats because, well, how could a “less-than-intelligent” cat ever find his cleverly hidden Oreo lair. One by one he would ask, “Have you been eating my Oreos?” And one by one we all responded in like manner, “No, I have not eaten your cookies. I don’t even know where they are!”
And then on one rather normal afternoon I per chance happened into the kitchen at just the opportune moment. To my great surprise I had nabbed the perpetrator redhanded, paw in the cookie jar so to speak. Stevie, the blue tabby matriarch of my Maine Coon cattery, was atop the refrigerator. She had managed to open the door of that high, nearly unreachable-to-humans cabinet above the fridge. Stevie had been caught in the act with her paw inside the cellophane package carefully dragging another coveted Oreo onto the refrigerator top even as she was still munching the remains of the previous cookie.
I laughed till I cried as I later meticulously described to the not-crazy-after-all accuser and all of the innocent suspects of the household how I had single-handedly nabbed the Oreo thief and solved the great cookie mystery. The criminal had been found out. The riddle was solved. The guilty party who before this incident had never ever been looked upon as a scoundrel was of course not chastised nor incarcerated, not even fined for succumbing to irresistible temptation but rather she was hugged and bestowed with bountiful kisses and great admiration for her stealthy endeavors and extraordinary taste in the finer delicacies of American society.
- The Collapse
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Jomsom to Kagbeni The remainder of our group arrived in Jomsom at 7:30 am. After steamy fresh bread, yak butter, wild honey, eggs, and the ever present and luscious milk tea we began the walk to Kagbeni. Since we would return throughContinue reading “Winds of the Himalaya – Part 27” - Winds of the Himalaya – Part 26
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Coffee, Tea, and Reverie 
What a great story! I have a kitty that licks my hair and bites it, however, she doesnot eat cookies. Thank you for sharing!
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That’s hilarious!! 🤣
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